Krista Carter
Professor Kerr
EN101-5
September 15, 2010
The Importance of a Father
Throughout life, it’s important for a girl to have her mother involved in her life, as well as her father. Fathers commonly underestimate the importance of a good relationship with their daughter (Mack). Often, girls do not have a good relationship with their father, whether it’s due to divorce, death, incarceration, or a lack of interest. This is extremely unfortunate because a father is the most important man in a girl’s life (Meeker). The interaction of a father in his daughter’s life affects her emotionally, socially, and physically.
The absence of a father, no matter the reason, emotionally affects a girl in a negative way. Losing a father due to death, divorce, or even due to lack of interest can be devastating (Mack). To an adolescent aged daughter, the common effects of an absent father are depression and anger (Mack). It’s likely for a number of girls to fear failure and rejection because they feel as though the lack of a good relationship with their father is their fault (Mack). Usually, mothers or mother figures are viewed as the parent who should deal with the emotions of children, especially girls. Phame Camarena, a Purdue University researcher, states, “Dads are generally as important to the emotional well-being and adjustment of their kids as moms are” (Camarena). Purdue University professor, Pamela Sarigiani, found that eighth grade girls who said they did not have a close relationship with their fathers showed a significantly higher rate of depression than girls who said they have a close relationship with their father (Sarigiani). Sarigiani then stated, “We expected to find the same pattern among girls who said they didn’t get along well with their mothers, but we didn’t” (Sarigiani). This research shows that fathers do play an important role in their daughter’s emotional development.
Whether or not a father interacts in his daughter’s life affects her socially. Most importantly, a father’s interactions with his daughter set her up or prepare her for how she is going to interact in future relationships with other men (Mack). Successful future relationships with males are dependent on a good father-daughter relationship. In her book Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters, Dr. Meg Meeker explains, “Daughters watch their dads like hawks. They watch not only how he treats her, but also how he treats her mom” (Meeker). If a girl has an absent father, it’s likely that she will not develop good relationships with other males because she didn’t receive what she needed from her father. On the other hand, if a girl has an active father, it’s more likely that she will choose men who treat her well because that is what she experienced and watched at home. When a girl is developing relationships with other males, her father should remember that adolescent age girls have a strong need for male attention and affection (Meeker). Therefore, if he is depriving his daughter of attention and affection, she will proceed to seek it in her social life from male friendships or from sexual relationships (Meeker).
A good father-daughter relationship also physically affects a girl. Purdue University researcher, Phame Camarena, indicates that a critical time when a girl needs her father is during adolescence when she is physically changing (Camarena). At this point in adolescence, a girl’s appearance is rapidly changing. Sudden, rapid changes, such as those that occur during puberty, often cause insecurities. Ironically, at a point in life and development where a girl may need her dad the most, it’s common for even an active father to pull away because he is uncomfortable with the situation (Camarena). In life changing situations when a father excludes himself from his daughter’s life, she flounders (Meeker). Exclusion will end in mistrust. If a girl learns to trust her father, it will be much easier for her to physically and emotionally trust her future husband along with other men she has relationships with (Meeker).
A father is a necessary person in a girl’s life. Fathers should realize how important they are in their daughter’s life, no matter what situation the family is in. Since a father is the most important male in a girl’s life, he should also be the one that a girl can always trust (Meeker). His important role can and will impact the emotional development, the social development, and the physical development of his daughter.
Works Cited
Camarena, Phame. “Dad and Daughter- A Special Bond- Fathers Affect Girls’ Emotional Adjustment.” BNET. Web. January 1993. 10 September 2010. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1272/is_n2572_v121/ai_13358877/
Mack, Melodie. “The Importance of the Father/Daughter Relationship.” Healing Hearts and Families Counseling. Web. 10 September 2010. http://www.healinghearts-families.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=68:theimportanceofthefatherdaughterrelationship&catid=37:families&Itemid=56
Meeker, Meg. “The Father-Daughter Factor.” Fathers For Good. Web. 10 September 2010. http://www.fathersforgood.org/ffg/en/common_challenges/factor.html
Sarigiani, Pamela. “Dad and Daughter- A Special Bond- Fathers Affect Girl’s Emotional Adjustment.” BNET. Web. January 1993. 10 September 2010. http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1272/is_n2572_v121/ai_13358877/
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